I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
