So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
