Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
