Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
