I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Come share oat with me in your robe
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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