You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you will always have a special place in my vag
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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