plz talk dirty to me
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
