I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I believe in your delicious
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize