Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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