I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
