batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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