I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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