you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
