I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
