and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
