laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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