need another drink. this is the easiest way
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize