I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
