Having a random hookup so left but love u
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
