He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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