Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
