Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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