Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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