he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I have feelings that need drinking.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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