I'm drive I can fine osifer
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
