ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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