careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
the condom got lost in my hair
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I party with great urgency now.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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