All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
A+ Viking dick
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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