Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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