I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
