She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
