we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Acid is not a monday night drug
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
