I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
