Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Your penis caused this!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
