i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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