Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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