Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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