i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize