Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
