I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
