He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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