Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
