Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
