my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
