so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
