Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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