the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The air taste purple.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
