I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Randomize
