those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
