Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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