Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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