I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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