It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i drank out of a bidet.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
