I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think your dad took our porno
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
