You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Is it penis luge time yet?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
