I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Farmville is her only friend.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
