sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
