Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
