I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
