Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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