ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
