My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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